musings, toddler adventures

A Day Off

Happy Monday! For a lot of you, that means a day off thanks to President’s Day! I’m sure your inboxes are filled with sales that are going on today, maybe you’re still in pajamas, and you’re filling the day with catching up on your favorite TV shows. What am I doing on my day off? Well, for me it’s status quo.

I don’t have a day off. Alexandra decided to wake up about an hour earlier than her normal time, so my blissful toddler-free coffee time was cut short. I usually resent that in some small way. Mostly because first thing in the morning is the only time I don’t have an endless to-do list running through my brain. It’s 12:30 and yes, I’m still in sweatpants, but I did (miraculously) find time to shower just after Alexandra went down for a nap. Now, I’m taking a break from doing transcription to write this.

I know a lot of people who think being a stay at home mom (SAHM) is easy. If you look at posts from a lot of SAHMs on Instagram, you’d think it was all crafts and sunshine and perfectly dressed children 24/7. You’d think that kitchens are always spotless and beautifully plated dinners are always on the table promptly at 6. What you don’t see is everything outside of that small square picture. The dirty counters, the disheveled mom, the runny-nosed child who just wants “up” over and over. Being a SAHM isn’t easy.

But there are perks. No one cares that I’m still in my sweatpants, that I haven’t emptied the dishwasher, and that the laundry I did yesterday is still not all put away. I don’t have to worry about my daughter complaining that her toys are all over the place in the living room because that’s just the way she likes it. We were supposed to go to the grocery story this morning, but Alexandra was super cuddly and I took advantage of that. We had a lazy morning full of play – no cleaning, no dishes, no errands. And no one is going to tell me to clean up the pile of books we read this morning that I left on the coffee table before I came upstairs to shower and work.

I’m not a SAHM by choice. Losing my job outside of my house gave me this one inside of it. Some part of me will never be ready to leave her at daycare five days a week because I don’t want to miss anything. There are some days where my frustration level is through the roof, where I am desperately lonely, and I crave a day off to do nothing. But I’m going to have to go back to work when I am able to find a job so for now, I’m trying to enjoy every single frustrating minute of being a SAHM. We can go grocery shopping after naptime. The dishes will still be there. I’m taking a day off from being the perfect Instagram mom.

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