As you may remember, we have a puppy – Abby- and having her comes with plenty of joy, and equal measure challenges. As a half joke and half help, my aunt actually sent us the mini guide to Puppy Care For Dummies® (which I thought was a. hysterical and b. actually helpful). The poor little girl seems to have terrible separation anxiety. Whenever we put her in her crate to leave for work or errands, she barks and salivates so much that she ends up covered in her own saliva from her chest all the way down to her front paws. You would think she was showering while we were gone. And we’re talking after 4 hours, after 2 hours, after 20 minutes… it doesn’t matter. Equal saliva/drool/chaos puppy.
So recently we tried a new way to confine her while we’re gone. We decided to loop her leash – about 4 feet long – around the metal support pole in our basement so she could walk around a little bit but not get away short of gnawing the leash off or pulling over the support pole holding up the house. Both seemed unlikely, and in the week prior she had actually ESCAPED from her cage by getting the latch to pop up. So on the 24th, I put her around the pole, double checked that there was nothing she could reach and get hurt with, and went to an evening event for work dressed in my little heels and cute dress.
About four hours later, I came home, all excited to see my baby, and open the basement door. And see this nothing but a sea of white. White puppy, white floor. Both floor and puppy were previously gray.
Guess who got a can of paint (mostly used THANKFULLY) off the stairs and decided that she didn’t like the floor color? THIS DOG. Needless to say I have never kicked off high heels and ran down my basement steps quicker. You can tell EXACTLY where we ran on the way up.
And where she paced by the back door as I grabbed her by the collar, ran outside, hooked her up the lead, and then hosed her down.
A frantic call to Animal Poison Control and 10 minutes later, I realized that because of the kind of paint it was she would be absolutely fine, and proceeded to give her a thirty minute bath (mind you… still in my dress). I did learn four valuable things.
1. Keep the number to Animal Poison Control handy. They are ridiculously helpful and the woman on the phone was EXTREMELY patient with me as I sobbed and told her I feel like the worst pet owner ever.
2. When trying to make a puppy free zone, take into account that, in my case, MY PUPPY HAS FREAKISHLY LONG LEGS. (Over 10 inches to be exact)
3. Puppies find tape measures VERY amusing.
4. Puppies SUCK at painting. See all the spots she missed?? Her technique is just way off.
I also learned that I am not the worst pet owner ever, because the only thing she was upset about the whole time was that I wouldn’t allow her to jump on me because I was still wearing my dress. Miraculously? NOT A DRIP OF PAINT ON IT. How I managed that I still don’t know. And the helpful thing? She created a radius for us so that now we know EXACTLY HOW FAR she can get.
I guess I won’t be priming anything anytime soon. But hey… now I have a free DIY design on my floor. Thanks, Abby. Always thinking of us.
Oh and by the way? My aunt thinks she bought us the wrong book. She’s now looking for one called Puppies for Morons.
Restoring Life 
The real question here is, was she covered in saliva after?
Of course! Which made it even prettier 🙂
Hilarious! You gave me a such belly laugh I think I freaked out MY dog. Oy.
Perhaps she is Georgia O’Keefe reincarnated!